I am frustrated. I am sick to death of being played a fool. I am good person and a great friend. I am tired of being made to feel like neither one of those is true.

In short, if you wanna lose my friendship, do the following:

1. Constantly remark, every time we speak, that I am ignoring or not paying enough attention to you.

2. Don’t call first. Ever. Always leave the ball in my court.

3. Be completely incapable of understanding my work schedule and commitment to my profession.

4. Lie.

5. Pay way too much attention to how I spend my money and constantly remark about purchases.

6. Cry poverty, yet go on massive spending sprees.

7. Act like you are better than me and constantly remind me why you feel this way.

That should do it. If we are still speaking after all of this, I should have my head examined.